The modern family unit may have undergone some changes as the years have gone by, but underneath it, all the fundamental principles are the same. Busy family, noisy children, lack of time to do anything! Those three things will never change, but as it seems that every kid now has a device of some sort, and access to the Internet is an ongoing problem to try and police, you can feel a little worse for wear. At least 100 years ago, you had some peace and quiet right at the end of the night, but now, with some bright screen flickering in the corner of your eye, you can wake up feeling more tired than when you went to bed. And it’s a constant battle for every mom in the world, but technology can be making our job as a parent tough sometimes. Stress is something we appear to be wired for much more now, because of that overused sentence “information overload.” But it all adds up. Stress is the first stage of a troubled life. It is something that can lead to anxiety, then depressive episodes, and it’s something to really keep your eye on. And where is the best place to start?
This is probably the most difficult thing to unravel. A very common thing that we all feel as parents are that your child is the most important thing in the world, and it is true of course. But if you don’t look after yourself you will suffer for it down the line. I've seen so many moms just keep powering through because they feel like that’s the only option. It’s something that so many of us sometimes feel, that we just have to put up and shut up. But it doesn’t have to be like that, not all the time! You’ve seen people who look after their parents in old age or caring for a handicapped child, burnout is something that seems to happen much more now than ever before. And why is this? There could be a million reasons, but I bet one of them is because they’ve completely neglected themselves. So you need to start thinking about this, because as a mom, you're expected to look after everyone else, and that’s not particularly fair to you. So you can make the most of looking after yourself by taking some appropriate steps…
Making Time & Saving Time!
It’s the one thing we never have enough of, and it’s the big thing that we need to get everything done. But the thing about all these duties that we have to do, like the ironing, the dishes, and all the little bits and bobs, are they all essential? Or do they need to be done right now? The best thing to really think about making more time for yourself is to make a list of all the tasks that need doing and prioritize them in order of importance. Once you’ve done this, start to complete the tasks and once the list is complete, make another one, and another one, and another one… As time goes on, you should begin to see a pattern forming, and the tasks that really aren’t that important will always be at the bottom of that list. And if they’re only something that needs doing every couple of months, why should you worry about it? It’s the sheer volume of tasks that can be a big stressor for us moms. So as a solution, we need to reduce these tasks and actually get a bearing on what is important. Because we can think every single task has the same amount of importance that is the reason we can feel so overwhelmed. So instead, take a breath and make a list. Making a list of everything you need to do is a way of releasing tension ever so slightly because you don’t need to keep a to-do list in your mind. In fact, this is something that is very heavily promoted in wellbeing circles. Whatever your thoughts, just get them down on paper. Get a notepad, and there are plenty of good makes out there, from Moleskin to SuperiorMaker, for notepads that you can carry around in your purse. And if something pops into your mind, however trivial, you can get it on paper and continue with your day. Once you’ve realized what is important, you can plan ahead much more effectively. No doubt at the top of that list is to make food for the family. Even this can be bypassed to an extent. Batch cooking meals is a supremely simple approach to get some extra time in for you. Make a big meal that can be frozen, portion them up and stick them in the freezer. My advice is to do a big batch cooking day once a month. Spending 12 hours in the kitchen a month making loads of meals instead of 2 hours a night making one meal (which adds up to 56 hours a month) you’ll really be able to claw back a lot of time for yourself.
Work Smart… Not Hard
It’s something that we can all do with sometimes. Working hard is honest, and it’s the only way to really achieve something, which is fine if you're trying to work your way up the corporate ladder, but we’re trying to cut back on hard work here! Go back to your task list again, and this time, put your business head on. The way you do each task on that list, is there a way to simplify the process? We’re so used to doing things a certain way that we don’t think about any other way to do it, or if someone else can even do that job! A task like vacuuming the carpet, for example, is it hard to do because you’ve got an old vacuum? Investing in a new one that makes you zip around the house in next to no time will free you up to do other tasks. Making a sensible investment in an item that makes life a lot easier may be a bit of a cost, but it’s one that is something that you really wouldn’t regret. Sometimes a little overhaul of our inventory is what will make our lives a lot easier. This is especially so if you live in an old house with hand-me-down appliances. You could be working so hard on cleaning a floor that is so scratched by the doors that you need to invest in new doors, new floor, even new doorstops! Although it’s a little thing, you can get rubber doorstops, like the ones SuperiorMaker make, that don’t scratch surfaces like old door stops do. If you're making more work for yourself by using old appliances or trying to clean an old carpet, get smart in that instance and get some newer products. We tend to not buy new items until they are barely able to function, and so something like fixing the toaster every time it breaks can eat up so much time, time that you don’t have!
What Can You Do With Your Free Time?
Once you’ve laid the foundations, the important thing is to not sit around thinking you could clean, or polish, or do something to make the most of your time. We all need some recharge time, and some people just hate the idea of sitting around doing nothing. If that is you, then get the most out of spare time by doing something constructive. You’ve no doubt told your kids to not waste their time indoors, take your own advice! Do something that’s for you, and you alone. Join a gym, or a club, go to the movies by yourself, whatever the thing is for you to actually take your mind off your life for a couple of hours. The idea of recharging and rejuvenating isn’t all about going to a meditation retreat! It’s whatever you want it to be. So do what you want, and make sure there are no hijackers. Palm the kids off to an after school club, the grandparents, or your partner. It’s only for a couple of hours! And the most important part of this is to schedule some time in to do it once a week. We never make time to have fun anymore, because we have so many things to do. If you really find it hard to make time, then you need to start scheduling everything, and write down “HAVE FUN” on that schedule! And scheduled fun isn’t ever fun, but it’s important for you to have two hours in a week that is completely yours. Turn your phone off, and make sure that the kids are looked after, and really learn to relax. We can be so tense that we don’t even know what relaxed is anymore. So even if it’s for a couple of hours a week, it’ll be that short period of calm that will keep you sane in the long run.
It’s really important to make time for you, so start to save time, work smart, and really think about what is good for you!
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